The tyranny of choice

It is a common, mainly urban ,well rehearsed scenario. The anxious parent and the child swamped by the prospect of choice...

“Do you want noodles, with sauce\without sauce\with bamboo shoots\without shoots
Do you want cola,juice,juice with ice,juice without ice
“Do you want chocolate ,strawberry,blueberry,raspberry..
“Do you want..
“Do you

The child goes through the motions. A few well rehearsed tantrums, a refusal to have what is on offer and finally, much to the relief of the parent , an agreement is reached.Meanwhile the queue behind them is getting longer and stronger in voice.

Today’s generation is born into a world where choice has become a habit. The cash registers are ringing and crass consumerism is the order of the day. The relentless pursuit of “wants” is mostly confined to the material-gizmos, gadget and garments. The shelf life of the bought items gets shorter and shorter, the list of new wants longer. As parents, we feel that we don’t want to short change our children and in our desire to provide everything, we are unknowingly creating personalities built on the foundation of insatiability-resulting in children who have lost their sense of wonder, innocence and contentment.

There are parents who are trying to maintain a sense of balance and who are making a success of negotiating this difficult terrain. One family has used mealtimes to illustrate the point. At home, children are brought up to eat whatever is on the family table at mealtimes. There is no separate cooking done to cater to individual tastes. Once a week while dining out, the children have a choice. The bonus of this system being that their grocery bill has come down!-A trip to the shopping mall becomes a seldom affair for some and is replaced by the family doing something creative together. Some parents insist that birthday parties are celebrated with those who are less fortunate. Just knowing and interacting with those who have less is a lesson that no textbook can emulate

The tragedy, is the translation of this disease of “want” ,to the way lives are lead. As an educator, I see the slow erosion of contentment. Levels of dissatisfaction are high and there is a constant search for a new high. Engaging with material that requires attention, focus and thought becomes increasingly difficult. While there are children who have inherent difficulties with attention, studies have shown that children generally show shorter attention spans in the classroom due to a combination of toxic lifestyle choices. Keeping late nights, being bombarded with visual and auditory noise(in the form of video games and television),high levels of junk food becoming main meals and so on. What used to be seeing as recreation has now become an everyday norm.

One of the best ways to work around this is to introduce children to the intangible gifts of three worlds-the world of sport, the world of performing arts and the world of nature. Each of these worlds teaches the child the value of teamwork, healthy competition and instills in them a curiosity to explore worlds which may be alien to them. It is a gift that will last them a lifetime and empowers them to face the world and its challenges in a more holistic fashion.

In the last decade, we have created an unhealthy obsession of focusing on our children too much. They are not allowed to experience life in all its shades-and driven by a media that generates paranoia, we reflect global anxieties on our children. Everything is seen as an issue or problem waiting to be solved, without the realization that sometimes life is a process of learning, failing and succeeding.

The paradox is that perhaps we need to “give” our children less and let them start living more.